If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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