hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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