Dude my mom stole all your condoms
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
