Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
