Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
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