I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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