whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
