but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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