i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I deserve this hangover.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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