So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
