There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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