she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
