i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
