watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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