i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
