She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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