I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i jhust puked up my retainher.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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