i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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