i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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