Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
