I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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