two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
