you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
