She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
