have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
