At least make sure they are 18
Why
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
