After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
