I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
