i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
