After last night, I could never be a politician.
just tell him i said nine months
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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