Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
