You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
