i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
you mean i was at the winter classic?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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