My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
you would pick up someone in the library
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
