I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
where are my eyebrows?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
