I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
