i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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