I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
