all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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