Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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