This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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