If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
