I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
