It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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