just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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