So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
