the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
