He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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