But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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