Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
You were trust falling into bushes
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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