Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
