What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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