Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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