I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
