As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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