Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
