Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
A+ Viking dick
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
