ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
