Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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