Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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