Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
