when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
