Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
