Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
