The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
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