We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
