There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
