I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
