Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
