Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize